From May 3, 2008

It takes courage and maturity to recognize when something isn’t right for you.

Change is frightening, and sometimes we take comfort in just keeping the status quo.  However, as much as it’s frightening, stagnation can require much more energy from you than putting forth the effort to not only DECIDE what you want, but then to ACT and GET what you want.

Much of this life is a game, and the future is often unknown.  It’s unpredictable, and it can be awkward.  However, there are no rules to the game.  Ahem, let me rephrase that.  There are optional rules, imposed by our civilization, and should we choose to step outside of its boundaries, there are consequences, though we are perfectly able to choose to step outside of the boundaries, should we find the benefit to outweigh the possible repercussions.

Now, this is the simple overview.  Let’s make it a little messy by throwing in emotion.

Emotion… some call it the temperature gauge.  If you are feeling bad, then your choices are not pointing you in the right direction.  If you are feeling good, then you’re probably on the path that suits you best.

And yet another variable– intoxicants.  They’re nearly inescapable.  Temporarily, they make you feel good, even if they’re not terribly Good For You.  I suppose the real emotional measurement of intoxicants is to look at them through a wider lens.  How do you feel overall?  Are you feeling good about your decision?  And are you feeling good about the things that led you to the decision?  I suppose that’s yet another gauge, though it can be different for every individual.

As much as I’ve questioned my decisions, I feel validated that I have followed the path that suits me best.  Some of those validations are that I’m leading a less toxic lifestyle.  I’m focused on my priorities, able to make judgment calls on my potential decisions with a clear head.  I am grounded, and when I begin to feel like I’m floating away, I am easily able to get my footing solidly back on the ground.  I am comfortable, and that is an undervalued benefit of any decision.  I am capable of reacting healthily to stressful challenges that arise.  I know that regardless of the consequences to my decisions, I am able to recover from them, learn from them, grow from them, and use them as a form of relative comparison to the times when I’m not experiencing challenges.  Makes the good things that much better.

I question– though I consider this an appropriate behavior.   You cannot learn if you do not question.