The dial tone fades into an incessant beeping.  You just want some peace.   Just for a moment.

Things aren’t going as well at work as you’d wish.   There are the nagging voices of people who simply want more from you.  Why can’t they just see that you’re doing the best that you can?   Why can’t they give you just a few moments of slack– only enough to hang yourself from.

The kids are relentless in their fighting.  They whine and throw fits or any other thing they can get their hands on, begging for an ounce more of your attention.  Attention you just can’t give to them right now.  “Kids!  Just go to your rooms!  Get out of here, I can’t think.”

Your lover is M.I.A. and has been for the last several hours.  No note, no phone call, no texts… only an empty spot at the dinner table.  No consideration whatsoever about your feelings.  Why is it there’s not enough communication here to at least tell you where they’re at?

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Stop.  STOP.  Stop the madness!!

All of these experiences are filtered into your mind with a lens of fatigue and despair.  That exhaustion isn’t due to your physical state, it is an emotional experience.   Emotions and rationality don’t mingle well together, and it’s easy to allow those things that ail you to affect how you feel.  And how you feel affects how you perceive.

Everything you’ve thought as you’ve experienced this scenario can actually be interpreted in a million different ways.  And here’s a news flash: How you’re interpreting it now is not working for you.

It is reasonable to believe that you are not entirely in control of the other people whose lives you interact with on a daily basis.  You cannot control them, or their behaviors.  You might not be able to control the economy or the weather, or another person’s mood.  However, what you can control is your reaction to these things.

One of the greatest lies I’ve ever heard was that we are incapable of controlling how we feel.  If this were true, we would have no way to follow laws or social rules, and we certainly couldn’t possibly imagine life long relationships of any sort because our emotions would constantly be clashing with any other person’s emotions with which we come into contact.  Our emotions are powerful, yes, but they are our own interpretation of the thoughts we have in response to the environment we are in.

Can we change our thoughts?  The simple answer is “Yes!”  Resoundingly!!  Yes, we can change our thoughts, and in turn, we can change how we emotionally interpret our experience.  It may take effort, but much of what is worthy of our energy is, in the long run, worth it to us.   So I ask you this difficult question:  Is it worth it to you to change your life for the better? Is happiness worth your time and energy?  If it isn’t, then you may have greater problems than those with whom you interact; you have a problem with yourself.  This, too, is treatable.

However, I believe that most of you will reasonably say, “Yes, it IS worth it to be happy.  I would give anything to be happy.”  And that would explain why it is that you’re here, reading this article, now.  Yes it IS.  It’s worth it, and you are seeking an answer that is about to come to you in a very brief moment.

How you feel is everything.  Your emotions are a lens through which you view the world.   If you change your thoughts, you can change your emotions.  You CAN transform your life.  You CAN transform the world in which you live.   Here are a few simple points:

• You cannot control other people, nor should you desire to.  Every other person in this world is also an expression of God/Goddess/the Universe/Spirit, etc.  Every single one of us has a path to lead with numerous lessons to learn.  Do not attempt to change another person.  They are absolutely perfect– that’s right, Perfect, for where they’re at in their place in life.  You can choose to allow them to be who they are, in the path that they’re on, or you can choose to remove yourself from the experience.  It’s a simple decision.  It should come without guilt or fear, and you can feel free to decide if you will continue to remain within the realm of this other person or not.

• You are a bundle of unending energy. Yes, your energy becomes lower when you are tired or hungry, but those are both simple fixes.  If you are tired, you must rest.  If you may not rest soon, then use this as an opportunity to evaluate how you could do things differently that will promote a healthful and energetic mood.   Learn to recognize when you are becoming drained, and give yourself permission to recharge.  Until the day you die, your energy will continue to move and circulate throughout your mind and body.  Just as plants make energy when exposed to the sun, your body converts food into energy.  If you are eating healthfully and getting enough sleep, you will experience significantly fewer moments of fatigue and crankiness.   You might be surprised when you realize just how much hunger and not getting enough sleep will affect how you feel.

• Your children NEED you.  They need your attention and your love.  If you are not able to provide it to them, they will go elsewhere to get it.  These other places may not be healthy or safe, and it is YOUR responsibility to protect them from both emotional and physical harm.  Therefore, if you feel tired, do not send them away.  Instead ask them to sit quietly with you while you snuggle with them.  Allow their bursting energy to soak into you.  Don’t be afraid to ask for collective quiet time together.  If they are unable to remain quiet, which is a characteristic of most younger children, then practice asking for quiet time together and simultaneously allow them to be their own expression of Spirit.  It is far more exhausting being irritated with them than it is to encourage them to be still.  Teach them by showing them what it is to do it yourself.

• Live and let live. Sometimes it is okay to accept that the person you are with may not be a perfect complement for your own Spirit.  If this is the case, practice allowing them to move away from you.  However, if this person is actually a wonderful complement, then practice the art of trusting them.  Practice communication on a deep-hearted level.  Discover ways of communicating with each other and expressing your own needs while also hearing theirs.  Often, the greatest failure in a relationship is the inability to compare and contrast the needs of yourself and the needs of your partner.  Optimistically consider new ways of talking that do not involve argument, accusation, the use of guilt or shame, or any other negative communication tactics.  This takes practice, yes, but making a commitment to communication will be the most rewarding relationship attitude you will ever take.

• Fake it until you Make it. When you begin to feel despair or exhaustion in the relationships you have with the people with whom you interact on a daily basis, remember that there are multiple lenses with which you could view the same scenario.  Try on different moods, as though they were hats, and revisit the scenario with an emotion that is less glum, fearful, or angry.  Sometimes these new emotional lenses require practice and patience.  However, a key point to remember is that even if you don’t immediately “feel” the emotion you are attempting to see through, if you are consistently utilizing that emotion, you will eventually begin to believe in it.  The emotion with which you experience your reality will eventually match the thoughts you are using to perceive it.

Remember that change is almost never an immediate action.  Changing habits requires commitment, time, and sometimes even enthusiasm.  Again, this may require energy to gather up the motivation to initiate, but it is well worth your extra effort in order to experience happiness.  Better yet, you can use these same tactics to move yourself from mediocrity to being awe-filled by the awesome opportunities that you will begin to attract into your life.